Recently I was sent a link to a wonderful short film featuring TJ Thyne as a parking attendant who gives people actual validation along with their parking validation.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Just watching it restores a little of your faith in humanity. I think that so many people walk around without feeling validated and it can be so draining.
I've had more than one loss this year and yet I was keeping a strong face on it and I am still trying so very hard not to fall apart. I posted on my online women's circle my whole story for the first time, and I got such wonderful replies of love and support.
Just writing my story down took a little of the burden off my self. And when people replied with sympathy it validated my pain. I'd been trying to get rid of it, be strong, keep calm and carry on and all that. And now I'm seeing that yes, I have actually been through a lot and yes, it's ok to look after myself now and yes my pain is real.
I'm not near dealing with it yet but I'm on the right road. And all it took to get started was validation from some incredibly kind people.
It makes me want to pass it forward and validate someone else, either by helping with their pain or by telling them how wonderful they really are like Hugh Newman in the film.
Perhaps we're not comfortable with doing this to the extent of Hugh Newman but think about the people in your life right now. What makes them special? What do they need to hear to feel loved and validated? And can you say it to them?
