I'm having breakfast on the second day of my Tokyo weekend trip. I had a really fun day yesterday, met someone new, talked to a stranger, met a friend and went to a concert.
I had consciously decided not to worry about anything on this trip. I've not been checking train times, just showing up, so I'm not worried about missing a train. And you know what? Every time I've got to a platform the train arrives for me!
Thing is, I realised at one point that I had a nagging feeling I was forgetting something. You know that "Did I leave the gas on?" feeling. Then I realised what it was. I was forgetting to worry!
I've always been a worrier, I get it from my dad. And I do have some big worries/changes/unknowns in my close future.
I've been worried about my future so much since April this year that I literally couldn't understand how other people were functioning. And it was sending me into a really depressed state where I was losing hope of ever feeling differently.
So now, on this trip, where I have nothing to worry about, it feels like something is missing. I've had this sense if despair for so long that it's a bit weird not to have it.
It feels so good to be just going with the flow and not stressing over things. Now I know how other people are living and how they can laugh.
I only hope I can keep this when I return to my regular life on Tuesday!
I had consciously decided not to worry about anything on this trip. I've not been checking train times, just showing up, so I'm not worried about missing a train. And you know what? Every time I've got to a platform the train arrives for me!
Thing is, I realised at one point that I had a nagging feeling I was forgetting something. You know that "Did I leave the gas on?" feeling. Then I realised what it was. I was forgetting to worry!
I've always been a worrier, I get it from my dad. And I do have some big worries/changes/unknowns in my close future.
I've been worried about my future so much since April this year that I literally couldn't understand how other people were functioning. And it was sending me into a really depressed state where I was losing hope of ever feeling differently.
So now, on this trip, where I have nothing to worry about, it feels like something is missing. I've had this sense if despair for so long that it's a bit weird not to have it.
It feels so good to be just going with the flow and not stressing over things. Now I know how other people are living and how they can laugh.
I only hope I can keep this when I return to my regular life on Tuesday!
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